Here is another small extract of what I have already written. I hope this can explain the emotions and thoughts that went through my head:
"First and foremost, there was my daughter. Jenny needed to be taken care of; she had to have enough money after I was gone. The only simple way to manage this was by means of a life insurance which would also pay if the insured person committed suicide. I searched on the internet and quickly found a large Insurance group which offered such an insurance. My only option of getting immediate coverage was to pay the initial fee cash right away at one of their outlets, and then wait for the insurance documents to arrive in the mail. I went to the insurance office, singed all papers and made my payment - Jenny was now set.
My next thought was about my dog, Sam. Sam! He was always with me; he was my closest friend, my permanent companion. I would have to drop him off somewhere when the time came, I thought. I called Mike, a good friend of mine, and told him that I was going out the coming weekend and that I needed him to look after my dog for 2 days. It was not a problem at all, so we agreed that I would drop off Sam on Friday evening around 5pm. That too, was now solved. I also wanted to make sure that none of my friends would ‘accidentally’ swing by on Friday night and find us before we died, so I told everyone I was going out of town for the weekend and would not be back until late Sunday night. I told my family that I was visiting a friend in another city and would not be reachable."